Ireland: In One Lifetime How the Tide Has Changed

I've lived in Ireland now for almost 33 years. With the advantage of hindsight, what I did not know when I moved here in 1982 but what I do now is that in only my lifetime - within the span of a single generation - Ireland would fundamentally change.

As I've said many times in the pages of this Blog, Ireland is no longer a twee little country sporting only carts and donkeys, coal fireplaces, and potholed narrow country lanes. It is no longer a land of poverty and ignorance. It is not a country of Leprechauns, pots of gold, or faeries. Yes, if you look hard enough you can find some of these. Even Leprechauns, I suspect, if you've drunk a belly full of porter. While such things aren't quite dead, most have been replaced by a resurgent Ireland that sports its modernity like a newly married groom. Even in the grips of astounding recession, this country is now renowned for its industry, relative wealth, and forward-looking thinking.

Much has changed since 1982. Many of those changes were wanted. Ireland was bloody poor when I moved here. And though few noticed because most of us were poor, it was heart-breaking to hear of families (including mine) who couldn't heat the house properly, couldn't eat properly, couldn't phone a relative, and couldn't take a Sunday drive simply due to the lack of a few bob. Today, most (but not all) do not want for such basics.

And yet....

I must admit that I find that I (like many Irish) miss a few things. Items or behaviours that have disappeared or changed completely because they've been washed away by the tsunami of the New Ireland. I thought I'd share a few of these with you. Perhaps it will give you a taste of what Ireland once was - of the simplicity that was to be found here.

• Milk Bottles and Un-homogenized Milk - today we go to the store and buy milk in large plastic or paper containers. And like most places it's all homogenized and most of it tastes the same. Back years ago when I came here, milk came to the door in bottles. Bottles were capped by a foil rapper. The milk wasn't homogenized. Instead, you could see the thick cream floating at the top. Shake if you wanted full milk. Skim the cream off if you wanted a treat. My but I miss the stuff.
  
• Open fires - are all but disappearing, replaced in many parts of the country by natural gas central heating. I am lucky to still have a real fire: an amazing Swedish stove that lights up like a rocket when I bother to fill the damned thing. But I still miss: the pungent smell mix of burning coal and wood blocks. The piles of turf that I used to add to it which made an ash as fine as snow. The slack - fine coal - that I'd mix with water and pour on top of the burning fire and which formed a thick cap, allowing the heat to last for hours. The crack and spark of the coal as it warmed the cockles of our hearts.
  
• The Pub / Grocery / Funeral Home - all mixed together like an unexpected smorgasbord. One of these could be found in most towns. Walk in and order a pint. Step a little down the bar and order tinned goods, bread, and maybe thick slices of cold ham. Step even further, and organize an entire funeral - funeral wreaths hung from walls; pamphlets describing the hearse were piled nearby. In such a place, you could eat, drink and die, God bless 'em.
  
• Old Money - we have euro now for our currency, just like much of Europe. But back when I moved over we had good old fashioned Irish Pounds and pence. Also called punts, they came in various colours and sizes to mark the various denominations. Back then, a pound would buy a few packs of cigarettes. Three or four pints. Five or six loaves of bread. God knows how many pints of milk. The coins were thick and solid. They jangled in pockets like miniature marching bands. As most say now, that was REAL money. Just don't ask me about the really old Irish money, before decimalization. It was before my time and thank God for that. I would never have bent my brain around the shillings, crowns, half-crowns, and all the rest.
  
• Fresh Bread - most towns had a local bakery. In Navan, it was Spicers. And the breads that they baked! I can smell the aroma even from the distance of the years. Fat wrapped pans. Brown and soda bread still warm from the ovens. All delivered directly to your door in the electric cart that they used for such purposes, carried by the smiling Spicers Man who would also relieve you of the few pence such items might cost. Today, we buy most of our bread at the grocery store, just like the rest of the world. And frankly, it just doesn't taste quite as good.
  
• Fish and Chips Wrapped in Newspaper - back then they'd wrap the fish and chips in yesterday's front pages. You could munch away and read the news at the same time. And the vinegar they'd splash over the chips somehow mixed with the newsprint for a taste that was out of this world. Today, of course, health and safety legislation has ruled against such practices. 'Tis a shame. I would rather take the risk of indigestion for that salty mix of so long ago.
  
• Zero  Security - we usually didn't lock the front door. No one else did either. We didn't because we didn't have to. Ireland had unusually low crime back then. And no one had much of value to steal. Things have changed of course. Now most people lock up their houses tighter than Fort Knox. They do because they have to.
  
• No Telephone - when I first moved here acquiring a telephone was virtually impossible. Few had them because a) a phone was so expensive (at the time, installation was equal to a month's wages for most people)  b) call costs were crippling and c) it could take almost a year to finally get a phone once the order - and monstrous deposit - was placed. So most people did without them. At the time, and as a young Yank, I was incensed. Me? With no Phone? Unheard of! But today I look back at the absence of a phone and almost delight at it. No calls. No one to bother you with crummy news. In fact, I wonder at the complexity that we have today and sometimes wish for those bygone years: no phones, no cell phones, no smart phones, computers, laptops, PCs, iPads... the world today is connected which is wonderful. But I sometimes wonder if by losing our isolation and time to contemplate, we haven't also lost something of ourselves.

The list, of course, goes on and on. But these are some that come to mind. Ireland continues to be a wonderful place. Certainly, where I now live in Eyeries, County Cork, continues to capture some of the joys of living in this country.

Though we now enjoy the wonders of a modern Ireland, I sometimes find that I miss those things that have passed on. A simplicity that's hard to find anymore. And a joy of living that far surpassed the material goods that most can acquire today.

Yes, that's what I miss most. The simplicity of older Ireland.

(Though I must admit: it's nice not to freeze anymore. It's nice to make a phone call when I want to. But by God, I still miss bottled milk.)

Moving to Dublin? There's Good News and Bad News

Recently I received a post from an American family who are considering a move to Ireland. They referred to an older 2009 post on this Blog that addressed (at least in part) what it's like to move to the Dublin area, where to live, what might be found there, and similar nuggets of wild fact.

Of course I can't find the post. So...I thought I'd address this area again and bring things up to date. And as usual, I have Good News and Bad News. But first...

The Good News: Such a Choice!
Dublin is by far Ireland's largest city. Almost a third of the citizenry now live in Dublin and its general environs. They do so for good reasons: most of the jobs are in the Dublin area. Following extensive investment, Dublin is - in general - a delightful place in which to live with high speed broadband, great access to the rest of the country and abroad via rail, bus, airplane and ferry, a heck of a lot do to - from theatre to museums, the Dublin Zoo to great walks through the Temple Bar area; from outstanding (though somewhat expensive) shopping and fine eateries, and a quick drive to the seashore or south to County Wicklow and its wonderfully extensive parks, waterfalls, and lakes - the area is a draw to both residents and visitors alike.

But if you're considering a move to the Dublin area take a look at the many options:

The City Centre - city living isn't for everyone but if you're determined to live like an Urban King then living in Dublin City Centre could be just your thing. Compared to many capitol cities in the world, Dublin has a rather small footprint, making much of it accessible by foot-power or bike. And you'll always find something fun to do. Take a walk up Grafton Street, the heart of city shopping, and spend your way to penury at the many shops while being comforted by the wild and wonderful buskers that line the street. Visit Bewleys for a cup of tea. Stroll along the Liffey River and people watch: tense business folks marching to their next meeting; young couples arm in arm taking a coffee in sheltered spots along the River making doe-eyes at each other; lawyers running into things with the next case in mind as they make their way to the Law Courts. Take in the National History Museum (it's still free at least for now), or walk up to the Dail - Ireland's seat of government and mad politicians - to express your views.

The Phoenix Park is also within walking distance (though a relatively long walk). As the largest city park in Europe, it is also home to the Irish president, the US Ambassador, and Dublin Zoo (not that I'm saying the president and Ambassador are monkeys - not at all, at all! The president in particular is one nice fella and someone that most are immensely proud of). Got a thirst in your mouth? Then have a cuppa either in the Zoo or at the wonderful Victorian Tea Rooms. And if that doesn't work stroll back into town for a pint at any number of local establishments. Hungry? Then walk into Temple Bar. Years ago when I first moved here the area (located right along the Liffey) was a run-down series of destitute warehouses. Today, it is a walking puzzle containing any number of fine restaurants and shops. But if you're not city-minded (yet still have to live near the city) where else might you consider?

Fortunately, the Dublin Area - including counties Dublin, Wicklow, Meath, and Louth - offer a wide range of options.

County Dublin - where to start? Try the town of Skerries just north of Dublin Airport. Or how about Portmarnack? Or Malahide? Or Howth? All of these communities offer quick access to the coast and many beaches; lovely tidy communities with restaurants and pubs; wonderful people and good schools... what's not to like? Or want to go to the south side of the city? Then why not Dun Laoghrie with its many stores and fine eateries.

Or County Wicklow - to the south of County Dublin is the Garden County named as such for good reason. Even though you may be only miles from the City Centre, you could be visiting an area known for its steep hills, dense forests, and exotic plants. If a visitor, make sure you go to Powerscourt and its waterfall and Glendalough and its outstanding vistas and lakes, and home to a 6th Century monastic 'city'. Want to live in Wicklow? Then try Bray, a delightful little town right on the coast.

Counties Meath and Louth - or perhaps you'd like to go north. These counties offer so very much! Louth, abutting the Irish Sea, has many communities that could be of interest. Drogheda, the county seat, is a larger urban area full of good shopping, restaurants, and right on the sea with good walks and quick access into Dublin. Or perhaps Bettystown, a smaller coastal village with its pretty church backing right up to the water.  And take a look at County Meath. Navan, home to the largest Zinc mine in Europe (or perhaps the world) is a bustling community. I lived there for years. Its shopping centre, local shops, and wide range of pubs and restaurants provides a wide choice. Walk along the River Boyne and take in some fresh air or get a license and throw your cast in for some of Ireland's best salmon fishing. Go 8 miles west and you're in Trim, a handsome smaller town with one of the oldest castles in all of Ireland (Mel Gibson visited when Braveheart was shot there), and take a delightful stroll again along the River Boyne, ending up at some of Ireland's best pubs.

I've only covered a few options above. But explore Ireland for yourself perhaps by Googling county maps, choosing an interesting sounding town name, and researching further. But now for...

The Bad News

Housing - whether renting or purchasing - is becoming increasingly expensive. Let me rephrase that: prices are rocketing skyward, particularly in Dublin and its commuter belt including many of the counties mentioned above. Why? The answer is, in part, simple. First, the country is finally coming out of recession. More jobs mean more money in people's pockets. Which in turn drives the pent-up demand as families who couldn't afford to buy seek to do so. Renting is just as bad: prices for a Dublin city apartment have gone nuts (see www.daft.ie for more information). The other factor is supply: during the recession few new houses and apartments were built. And it's going to take awhile for the construction industry - decimated during the past few years - to regain traction and meet the upward surge in demand.

Only recently, the Central Bank has passed new regulations regarding down payment requirements when purchasing. Prior to the recession, banks were lending purchasers 100 percent mortgages - or more. But it was announced only yesterday that now, first time buyers must come up with 10 percent of the purchase price up to just over 200,000 euro, with a sliding scale in excess of that. Other buyers must come up with 20 percent of the purchase price. Add to that down payment outlays for solicitors, stamp duty, and other costs, and depending on the house price, it's a hefty amount.

These new regulations could result in a number of changes: ever-rising home prices could cool a bit as demand is dampened. Which is good news for those with cash in their wallets who want to buy soon. But bad news of course for those who want to buy and simply can't come up with the bag full of cash they'll need to satisfy the new regulations.

Such is Ireland, as with many other places: good news and bad. But on the whole, the economy is a heck of a lot better than it has been since 2007 and the creeping disaster of recession that hurt so very many. If you're truly consider a move (or visit) to the greater Dublin area my advice is to take your time and hunt wisely.

A Survivor's Guide to Living in Ireland 2015 Kindle Edition Now Available!
If this blog interests you, then you might want to know more about living and working in Ireland. Are you thinking of traveling to Ireland, moving to Ireland, working in Ireland? Do you want to understand what makes the Irish tick, how you can get a job here, and how to survive in this wonderful country? If so, consider purchasing the 2015 Kindle edition of A Survivor's Guide to Living in Ireland. Over 11,000 have already done so! Now over 85,000 words long, this book could make the perfect gift for those interested in this wonderful country. Simply click on any of the above links to purchase the new 2015 Kindle edition. You can also download free apps to read the Kindle version on any PC or Mac. 

Then There Are the Poor Feckers at MSNBC...

I realize that the United States is big.  As an American, I understand why many there believe that the world begins on the West Coast of the North American continent and ends somewhere East of New York. I can also get my head around why many folks from the United States would not be fully up-to-date regarding the goings-on in a wee little country like Ireland. So often, when I meet Americans here, I'll give them loads of room to make mistakes. For instance, many think that Ireland is still part of the United Kingdom. It's not their fault. They can't help it.

But then there's MSNBC. And they should know better.

A few days ago, the head of an Irish organization called the IDA (Industrial Development Authority) was invited onto MSNBC's 'Squawk Box' business program to be interviewed by journalist and former stockbroker Joe Kernan. MSNBC journalists are usually intelligent and savvy. They usually get things right. But in the interview with IDA CEO Martin Shanahan regarding Ireland's economy, poor Martin never stood a chance. Why? Simply because the comments made by Kernan were so...so...stupid. Ignorant. And lacking even a rudimentary understanding of Ireland's (and Europe's) economy.

        For instance, Kernan asked, "You have pounds (sterling) anyway, don't you - still?" And the rest of the interview descends  into mayhem, as follows:

Martin: "We have euros."

Kernan (shocked): "You have euros in Ireland? Why do you have euros in Ireland?"

        (Answer: because, Joe, we're part of Europe)

But the interview got worse.

Kernan: "What about Scotland? I was using,....ah... (confusion reigns as he forgets what currency the Scots use and Martin has to remind him). 

Martin: "Scottish Pounds. They use sterling."

Kernan (aghast): "They use sterling?" (duh...)

Martin: "They use sterling. We use euros." 

Kernan: "Why would they want to do that?"

(Answer: because, you idiot, they're part of the United Kingdom)

And a little later...

Martin: "In the north of Ireland (Northern Ireland) they use Sterling but we use euros." 

Kernan: "THEY DO? It's just too confusing."

Okay, that was only part of the interview but it gives you an idea. In response, I thought I'd pen an open letter from this American who's lived in Ireland for so long to Joe and MSNBC. Tongue in cheek of course...

To: Joe Kernan and all at MSNBC
From: Tom Richards, your erstwhile American living in Ireland
Date: 10 November 2014
Reference: How can you be so stupid?

Dear MSNBC, Mr Joe Kernan and all on Squawk Box,

I know you live in America. That's a big place that uses the dollar. But not everyone in the world uses the dollar. For instance, in much of Europe, we use the euro. The euro is a currency, somewhat like the dollar, but the notes come in really great colors other than green. Unlike the dollar, you can use the euro in 18 different European countries. Did you know that? And Ireland uses the euro too. We don't use Irish pounds anymore. We don't use pounds sterling like the English, the Scots, and the people in Northern Ireland. Those three countries use pounds sterling because...ah...well, they're all part of the United Kingdom and all of 'em use the same currency. Oh! And just so you know, Wales uses the pound sterling too. Wales is that little country to the West of England. The people there speak Welsh. Just thought that little nugget might help if ever you interview a Welsh person.

Anyway, back to Ireland. Yes, we use the euro here. We have since the 1st of January 1999. We decided to do that because we're part of Europe. No, Ireland isn't part of the United Kingdom so we don't use pounds sterling. We've been independent for a long long time and don't like that currency. Besides, the euro is much more convenient. We can all climb on the airplane without going to the bank to change currency. Instead, we get off in Italy or Greece or France and buy drink to our heart's content. All of those countries use the euro too. But I don't think that drink was the main reason why Ireland chose the euro. Or maybe it was.

I want to say that I really like your Squawk Box program. It's a business program, right? But if that's correct, I would hope that maybe in the future you could do a little research. Get things a bit right so that you don't embarrass your guests, like Martin from the IDA, who must have been gobsmacked at your ignorance and must have felt just awful as you continued to dig a hole and made it bigger and bigger and bigger in front of so many millions of folks. That's called 'being humiliated'. And if you weren't, then even now you don't know your euro from your dollar.

Ah, but I feel sorry for ya, ya poor feckers. To make it easier for ya in future, just in case you interview another Irish person, I'll ask the government if they'll drop the euro and replace it with the US dollar. That should make things much simpler.

Maybe. But methinks that I shouldn't count on it.

Your sincerely - Tom

(To see the complete interview go to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0IiVyFM4yo. To see the silliness, fast forward to the end of it and have a laugh courtesy of Joe).

A Survivor's Guide to Living in Ireland 2014 Kindle Edition Available Now

Want to learn more about living in Ireland? Are you thinking of traveling to Ireland or moving to Ireland? If so, you might consider the purchase of the 2014 Kindle ebook edition of A Survivor's Guide to Living in Ireland. Now 80,000+ words long, and having sold over 10,000 copies in its various editions, it could make the perfect gift for those interested in this wonderful country. Simply click on any of the links above to purchase this new Kindle version. You can also download various free aps to read this Kindle version on any PC or Mac. 

Water, Water Everywhere. And All of it is being Taxed.

Then there was the time I took a trip to Killarney. Somehow or other I ended up with  a group of American tourists all intent on enjoying a day's outing. The only problem? It was lashing rain. As we took refuge in a local cafe, the voice of an annoyed woman from New Jersey took aim at our poor tour guide who was intent on keeping everyone happy.

Her: "It's raining. Again."
Tour Guide: "It does that in Ireland."
Her: "But it's like a hurricane outside."
Tour Guide: "It does that in Ireland too."
Her: "But we'll get wet!"
Tour Guide (now more than a little exasperated): "Do ya see the green of the fields? Do ya like it that way? Well God does too and that's why it's gonna keep raining."

It rains in Ireland. A lot. It drizzles, pelts, and lashes. It's so ubiquitous, this liquid wonder that pours onto the country, that most of us take it for granted. The Irish may be short of many things, but water? We've that in spades. And for years and years we got it for free - sort of. Turn on the tap and out the water poured and no one thought anything of it.

Until recently. This past month, thousands and thousands of households throughout the country received a wee letter in the post making it official: we'll all be paying for water from now on. Come next January, we'll all get a bill in the mail for the amount of water we use.

But the Irish aren't taking this lightly. Thousands of 'em are protesting in the streets leveling accusing fingers at our politicians.

But what's the big deal? The citizens of many other countries pay for water. Why should the Irish be any different? Someone has to pay for it, don't they?

To understand Ireland's attitude to water charges, you have to realize that most people here have just about had it with so-called Austerity measures. Prior to the Great Recession of 2008, Irish citizens had already been taxed to death. But new taxes on income, property, and consumer goods  have come close to pushing many households over the financial edge.  Many are having trouble paying for simple things: like heat in the winter. And petrol for cars. And school uniforms for children. Most are already saving for the new property tax which they will be forced to pay after Christmas. And now the government wants all of us to pay again. In January of course. Right after Christmas. When everyone is broke.

The Irish are usually an uncomplaining lot. In fact, that aspect of their character can often drive me crazy. But this time, for many, paying water charges isn't a matter of inconvenience. Rather, it's a choice: do they put bread on the table or pay the new water bill?

If you're visiting Ireland over the next few years and see entire populations make their way toward the local town water pump, bucket in hand, you'll know that they've opted to eat.

The new tax on water is simply a tax too far and one that many simply cannot afford.

A Survivor's Guide to Living in Ireland 2014 Kindle Edition Available Now

Want to learn more about living in Ireland? Are you thinking of traveling to Ireland or moving to Ireland? If so, you might consider the purchase of the 2014 Kindle ebook edition of A Survivor's Guide to Living in Ireland. Now 80,000+ words long, and having sold over 10,000 copies in its various editions, it could make the perfect gift for those interested in this wonderful country. Simply click on any of the links above to purchase this new Kindle version. You can also download various free aps to read this Kindle version on any PC or Mac. 

Fred Schimmelman, a Wonderful Man of Song

Forgive me but I'm learning: as one gets older, so too does everyone else. And when that happens, we all eventually reach the end of our mortal coils. Recently, a friend - a teacher - passed away. For a moment, I'd like to remember him.

To Fred Schimmelman, Teacher and Friend:

He's gone. Those sensitive fingers that directed our song. Those smoky eyes that could glisten with amusement or fire into annoyance in the brief space of a quarter note. He's gone. His passion that fueled our own, the young kids that we were at Rolling Meadows High School. Teaching us to harmonize as we could. Presenting us with curiosities. "What's a Jabberwocky?" we asked and then found out in four / four time. "Twas Brillig" for sure.

He's gone. The director, the musician, the teacher, the man. His music dispersed into so many young hearts.... but then perhaps?...

...Gone he is not. For his love of music remains within many of us. Like the last I heard from him, only a few weeks ago. The 'old man' still young at heart, writing: "... glad you're still singing. It's a boon to living." And so it is.

Gone therefore he really isn't. The memories that he made, the kids that he taught, the inspiration and confidence that he gave to us all. He was a gift, and gifts don't die. They Live! Nor do the notes of his song that float even now Heavenward.

Godspeed, Fred Schimmelman. And thank you for the gifts that you gave so freely of yourself.

In honor of Fred, a song that he taught us all in 1973. Sung, of course, not by us. But it's the memory, the memory...

The Lord to Me a Shepherd Is sung by Vox Harmonia
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgQdUDBNkOs

(Photo: Fred in full flight, circa 1973, Choir Room, Rolling Meadows High School.)

Ireland's Economy Rockets Skyward. Celtic Tiger 2.0 Rises from the Ashes. But is it Sustainable?

We have ignition and lift off. According to recent economic statistics, Ireland's economy is surging with growth not seen since the demise of the Celtic Tiger in 2008. According to the Irish Times, Ireland's economy is growing at the fastest rate in seven years, recording a 7.7 percent explosion in the year ending June 2014. Moreover, Ireland's politicians gazed into their (ever cloudy and broken) crystal ball and upped the growth forecast for the rest of the year. And of course, those same politicians took delight in waxing lyrical about the stringent measures that they believe scored the big results.

According to various sources, Ireland' phoenix-like reincarnation has been sparked by a number of factors: employment and consumer spending is up (how 'up' is, however, uncertain). Exports are burgeoning. Local industries including tech, pharmaceuticals, tourism, health - and wait for it - the construction sectors are hiring. In many cases, they can't get enough qualified people to fill job vacancies because everyone emigrated.

Which of course means - if you believe the press and government - that unemployment should soon be falling like a brick. And if you're interested in coming to Ireland to job hunt, now is the time.

Growth of 7.7 per year is phenomenal by any measure. Other Eurozone economies (think Germany, France, Spain, and the rest of the PIGS) drool at such a display. But is Ireland's rebound a long-term reality or a flash in the pan?

The people of this country have taken a beating. The average industrial worker making just over 30,000 euro a year has an effective marginal tax rate of - wait for it - 52 percent due to tax increases that only went one way - up, up, up. This does not include so-called 'stealth' or invisible taxes. Taxes like VAT (now at 23 percent), or VRT on automobiles. Or the new property tax. Or the about to be introduced new water charges. Folks across the country - particularly the lower and middle economic classes  - have seen take home pay fall (if they still had a job, of course) while public services have also crashed. In 2007 and 2008, they watched helplessly from the side as the government mortgaged everyone's future to underwrite failing banks and a failing economy. The debt burden in this country is phenomenal: it now stands at over 181 billion euro (go to the debt clock for more. Ireland's debt mountain is continuing to spiral upward). That's over 100 percent of the country's Gross Domestic Product. That's a hell of a lot of money to pay back.

That burden will be there for generations to come. And it will slow Ireland's recovery. At the same time, the country is in danger of overheating yet again. Already, house prices in Dublin are soaring out of control, and are now almost level with Bubble prices last seen in 2008.  Inflation is starting to once again inch up. Workers are (rightly) demanding less taxes, more pay raises, and increased public services to replace what was lost during the dreadful Crash.

Is this sustainable, this re-emergence of the Irish economy? I like to think so. But we'll carry the pain for years to come. I'll pay for it, my kids will pay for it, and my grand kids will keep on paying for it.

But let's ignore the future for a moment. Ireland has been in the depths of economic chaos and darkness for the past six years. At last, there seems to be a golden lining. Let's glory in that for the present.

A Survivor's Guide to Living in Ireland 2014 Kindle Edition Available Now

Want to learn more about living in Ireland? Are you thinking of traveling to Ireland or moving to Ireland? If so, you might consider the purchase of the 2014 Kindle ebook edition of A Survivor's Guide to Living in Ireland. Now 80,000+ words long, and having sold over 10,000 copies in its various editions, it could make the perfect gift for those interested in this wonderful country. Simply click on any of the links above to purchase this new Kindle version. You can also download various free aps to read this Kindle version on any PC or Mac. 

Its' Midsummer in Ireland. Must be Time for Madness.

Mid-summer in Ireland is not quite like anywhere else. We all relax for one thing (which is why you haven't heard from me in a bit). We all go to the pub more often (which is also why you haven't heard from me recently). We kick back, take a load off, light the BBQ, and pretend the rest of the world doesn't exist. Or, if we have enough dosh in the bank, we'll flee the country for other parts of the world and teach them how to kick back (unless we go to Spain in which case the locals have a much better understanding of Manana than we ever will).

It gets quiet over here. Really, really quiet. Enough to make a guy want to go bonkers. Enough to put some up to mischief.  You know, to shake off the boredom - that sort of thing. Which is what happens in Ireland during the summer. Many of us go stark raving mad. Unfortunately, there are those out there - completely innocent souls - who suffer the consequences of that madness.

Take Garth Brooks for instance. You know. The American country western singer. Years ago he gave a concert in Dublin. He was so welcomed by the Irish that he thought he'd died and gone to Heaven. I heard tell that he said back then that he'd be back someday. But then he decided to take a few years off to spend all the money he'd made in Dublin and we didn't hear much from him. Until a few months ago.

It seems that Garth decided to kick-start his music career after the decade-long interlude. And where better to start it than in Dublin? His people contacted the Aikens, a mover and shaker in the Irish music business, about organizing a few concerts here to launch a worldwide tour. Aiken, in turn, thought about contacting the Dublin City Council to organize the licenses for the events. Unfortunately he must have forgotten because...

And here is where a) it gets somewhat confusing and b) all hell broke lose.

Garth, Aiken et al wanted to hold the concerts in Croke Park, a massive stadium at which is played Ireland's favorite sport, Gaelic Football. In turn, Croke Park is owned by the GAA, the body that manages the sport. Croke Park happens to be located in a rather densely populated area of North Dublin. It's surrounded by residential houses. Which means that it has residents in them. You know, people like you and me that like to sleep occasionally. The stadium was sometimes used for concerts and some time ago the residents had complained: it seems that they didn't like music blaring through open windows at 3 in the morning nor finding post-concert detritus like vomit clogging up the gutters. So...sometime ago they had negotiated a deal with the GAA. They'd put up with the concerts but only if the GAA guaranteed that they'd hold only three concerts a year.

But the Garth Brooks steamroller was already fired up. Instead of first contacting the Council for the licenses, Aiken went instead directly to the owners of the stadium. On behalf of the Brooks machine, Aiken asked the GAA if they'd hold three concerts. They said yes. Then they asked for four. Yes again. Then, with their enthusiasm knowing no bounds, they asked for five. Again the answer was yes. The GAA, I'm sure, forgot entirely about the agreement they had with the residents. I'm not sure why. Money probably had something to do with it. (I can hear you say as you read this: "Really Tom? Money? Are people honestly that greedy? Duh....") But Aiken, as mentioned, had not yet approached the Dublin City Council for the licenses.

Instead, they started selling tickets. Subject to licensing approval, of course. And over 400,000 were snapped up. Dubliners bought 'em. People across Ireland bought 'em. People from as far away as Australia bought 'em. They also made flight and hotel reservations. Dublin businesses got caught up in the madness, now scheduled for late July. Five concerts? 400,000 people and perhaps more! Wow! Businesses bought all sorts of stuff in anticipation: Garth Brooks cowboy hats. Garth Brooks T-Shirts. For all I know, they bought Garth Brooks mechanical wind-up figurines that would sing and ask for the Pope's blessing at the same time. All of this stuff was delivered and stored in warehouses.They weren't the only ones to go mad with anticipation: taxi drivers, restaurants, local prostitutes - everyone was rubbing their hands in anticipation of a quick buck.

But the local residents weren't too happy. Not at all. By running five concerts, the Brooks machine was breaching the agreement made with the GAA. So they started to protest. They got airtime on TV, radio, and the Net. And those with any sense of justice realized that they had a point. A legal agreement is, after all, a legal agreement. And that's when Aiken finally approached the Dublin City Council for licensing approval.

And the result: chaos. The poor Council guy responsible for licensing realized that his hands were tied. He analysed and gnashed his teeth and prayed hard - and finally gave approval for three concerts. Not five. But three.

The shit hit the fan. Garth and company were not pleased. It was five or none at all. And the world went mad. Even our beloved Prime Minister, our Taoiseach, said it was madness. Radio call ins were filled for days with angry people expressing their views: all concerts should go ahead, said some, because the tickets had already been sold and if the concerts were cancelled the Irish economy would lose up to €50 million. That's a lot of Pints, let me tell you. Others said that the local residents were being steamrolled by big money interests. "Naw, really?" says I. The local residents, in turn, were sorry for the mess but that was the agreement. But at least they wouldn't have to clean up the puke with a mop and lots of cursing.

Brooks and Company, I think, felt that the Council would back down. He even said he would crawl on hands and knees to the Irish government to get the decision overturned, so deeply was he committed to Ireland. The mess even made it into the chambers of our beloved Irish Dail, the seat of government here. They debated it. Something had to be done. But what?

As it turned out, it was time for compromise. The decision stood unless another, sort of acceptable, agreement was made. The hot potato landed back in the Brooks camp: either take three concerts and be satisfied or... Well, we're sorry but that's an end to it. Garth tried to compromise. They worked with the Council who gave them a couple of what I believe to have been perfectly acceptable options: like having five concerts but holding a couple of them in the afternoon rather than all at night which would have driven the local folks crazy. But that wasn't good enough for Garth. The result is...

He's not coming. The tickets have been refunded. The hats and T-Shirts and wind-up figurines left in storage because the original manufacturers won't give a refund. The taxi drivers, restaurateurs, and ladies of the night deeply disappointed. Instead, Irish folks are making due with a variety of Garth Brooks look-a-likes who are making a pot load of money on all the free advertising. And conspiracy theories are running wild.

Who shot Garth Brooks in the back? The Council? The Locals? Aiken? The Taoiseach? I for one think it was all about summer madness. We go mad over here during the summer when we've not much to do. Garth Brooks was a perfect target, he and that big hat of his.

But it's not over yet. More madness is bound to continue as lawsuits fly. We'll hear about it, I suspect, until well after Christmas and beyond. Long enough to keep those who enjoy being mad happy. It's enough to make a curmudgeon like me smile.

A Survivor's Guide to Living in Ireland 2014 Kindle Edition Available Now

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